Reflections of an Android
by A.S.Amalon
Summary: Hmm...Erek's thoughts on life, I guess...I'm no good at summaries...Please R/R!


Title: Reflections of an Android 

**Author: Alara-Sirinial-Amalon**

**Rating: G**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Animorphs, their enemies, or any related characters—it would be nice if I did, though**

**Spoilers: None that I know of**

**A/N: Wow. I'm actually posting something again! It's been a while, considering I've been working on an original series since April. But I don't know where this came from. I was just rereading "The Sickness" (#29), and I was at the part where Erek had said that he could be a modem for Cassie's dad's computer, and this thought just came to mind. Well, please R/R!**

            What would it be like? To know that someday, you will inevitably die? To know that the slightest mishap could destroy you forever?

            I watched my masters, my creators, my _friends_, grow sick and die. And there was nothing anybody could do about it. Just a small blip in time for my fellow Chee and me.

            We'd started over on a new world. A little planet known as Earth. Humans ruled this small blue planet. Not well, considering that, as a species, they were relatively new. But there was intelligence, and they evolved with that intelligence. All of that was just a small moment in my seemingly endless lifespan.

            But my fellow Chee and I assimilated ourselves into this society, and made friends with these strange creatures. And these creatures died. We'd felt sad; we'd been programmed to feel certain emotions. But that was just a tiny fragment of time.

            Civilizations sprung up around the world. Large superstructures, the Great Pyramids in Egypt, were being built. Thousands of men died. We did not. Slight mistakes ended their lives. Sickness ended them. And yet they were gone forever.

            Years later, which is comparable to a split second in my lifetime, a new power rose: Greece. These were scholars, with new laws and new ways that were all their own. They were more educated humans. Not in technology, of course, but in other areas, such as architecture. And again, we joined this society. And again, they died. It could not be stopped.

            The Mediterranean area evolved, and the humans inevitably died. All small occurrences in our lifetimes. Europe and Asia rose up into power. Then the Americas. And Australia and Africa. It was a world dominated entirely by humans. All that fell ill, felt true emotions, and truly _lived_.

            We didn't.

            Then came the Yeerks. We disliked them, but could not harm them. The one thing that truly set us apart from humans. We could not act upon our emotions. We could not truly live.

            What seemed like just a moment later, I met Marco and Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill in that forest. They were members of the small resistance fighting the Yeerks. It was my chance. My chance to act upon my emotions. But not truly me. I helped them any way I possibly could, hoping that the Yeerks would be gone. I gave them inside information, hoping to rid my new home of the Yeerks.

            My friends fell ill, they suffered from their emotions…they lived. They went through so much in such a short time, just to wipe out the Yeerks.

            Which we did. At the cost of many human lives. Many Yeerk lives. Many Hork-Bajir and Taxxon lives. 

            But one human died that should not have. Not when she did, at least. Had I not been there, she may have lived. Her already short lifespan was made shorter. By me. Had I not disabled the ship's ability to kill, she may be alive today.

            Programming was my problem. I was not one of them. I could never be one of them.

            And now, Jake, Marco, and Tobias are out there, in space. Searching for their friend. Hoping to save his life. One that would end in less than one hundred years anyway. To me, it seemed almost pointless. Why save a life that would end someday?

            I would never understand. I could never understand. They were just a memory. That's all they could ever be. They would not live forever.

            But every day I wonder what it would truly be like to live every day to its fullest, knowing full well that you may not live your next. What would it be like to experience sickness? To experience true hate, true happiness, true sadness, and true love instead of programmed emotions? What would it be like to die? For your life to cease without notice?

            But, in my millennia of existence, the one question I've asked myself most is…

            What would it be like to live?

**A/N: I hoped you liked that. I just needed to get that out. Two of my dogs died within the past two months of old age, and I've been feeling down. We'd had them for 13 ½ years and 10 years. It has been a very depressing summer. But seeing the death of my best friends has given me a new outlook on life, and this kind of came from it. To an android, a hundred years passes in an instant. To a human, it's their entire lifetime. Oh well. Tell me what you think of this, and what I could do to improve on it. Later!**


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